My Mom has asked me to buy her dress she will be laid out in. Her underwear and slippers too, for her final farewell.
It must be navy blue with long sleeves because, she spoke of how terrible her arms are now, once muscular and strong are now flab's of hanging skin.
Lump in my throat tears building up I said yes. I can't show the pain I am feeling at the moment, I have to hold it in until my drive home. Longest trip home I have made, tears blinding my sight I made it home.
The next day I shopped for her by taking pictures with my phone showing her the pics the following day. We finally agreed on a style.I found a dress I thought would fit at JC PENNY.
She tired it on over a sweat shirt and jeans coming up 2 sizes to big. She says keep it, you know it will cut down the back and fitted. Boy that lump in my throat felt like a tennis ball at that moment.
My Dad walked in at that moment and she began to cry, I could not hold it in nor could Dad we had a group hug and the tears be fell us. She said the dress was perfect. Later calling me to say Dad thought it looked very nice on her.
I know each day Mom is working on making her final farewell easy for all. She has chosen who will speak at her funeral, what biblical verse she would like read, what music she would like played.
It's hard being her only daughter, knowing I will no longer have a special friend to share all my good with. Like the granddaughters I have and her great that we share.
Her Mother never got to know her great granddaughter, my daughter because she had a stroke and could longer walk or talk and passed away before my daughter turned one.
For my Mom becoming a great Grandmother has been her greatest joy.She always felt her Mother missed out on what would have been her greatest joy too.
She is growing weaker each day and the pain never subsides now, she looks at her feet every day to see if they are turning blue, I finally told her yesterday what the signs where for death and told her she has none. She is a fighter, she wanted to make it through the holidays and did. Then she wanted to see the tulips and they are breaking through the ground now. She has decieded she wants some mushrooms (morels)which may be up in a few weeks. Now she has decieded to be here for the month of May, she does not know why but wants to make to that month.
She has only the strentgh to get up eat a breakfast, make her bed then off to the couch to too sleep through day with pain killers. The slight relief she gets from pain is sleep, the whole time bemoaning in pain. I hope if anyone smokes that you cut back and realize that it can kill you through a long painfull journey.
Posts
